Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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