im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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