and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
