My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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