wake up i wanna do it froggy style
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
