it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
