The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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