I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
