What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
