i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
