Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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