This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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