Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A bitchslap is in order.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
