i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize