Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
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Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that