Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  pwbgyin

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  what?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  penguin condom

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  (303): pwbgyin (1-303): what? (303): penguin condom http://tfl.nu/0ju9
  Replies (5) Good night (1732) Bad night (643)
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  (650): View more from California

  My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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  (650): My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent. http://tfl.nu/z7vz
  Replies (7) Good night (956) Bad night (3301)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.

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  (517): it was like weight watchers had a halloween party. http://tfl.nu/kblp
  Replies (15) Good night (728) Bad night (4597)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce

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  (512): turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce http://tfl.nu/v1jk
  Replies (19) Good night (1353) Bad night (5250)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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  (702): I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer http://tfl.nu/pk2a
  Replies (12) Good night (4134) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.

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  (904): Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again. http://tfl.nu/hcx3
  Replies (1) Good night (853) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea

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  (504): Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea http://tfl.nu/8yui
  Replies (8) Good night (1344) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.

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  (503): You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks. (503): Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks. http://tfl.nu/twir
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.

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  (801): First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all. http://tfl.nu/rs17
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma

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  (920): I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma http://tfl.nu/6gw3
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (388)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights

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  (219): All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights http://tfl.nu/nkhu
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (385)
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  (212): View more from New York

  At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for

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  (212): At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for http://tfl.nu/la6h
  Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.

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  (618): Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents. http://tfl.nu/mt2r
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...

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  (423): Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple... http://tfl.nu/apqw
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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  (424): I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/bfkb
  Replies (3) Good night (388) Bad night (196)

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