idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth