Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd

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(831): yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd http://tfl.nu/hhxw

Replies (69) Good night (529) Bad night (4164)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

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(574): Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter. http://tfl.nu/0enu

Replies (19) Good night (3693) Bad night (782)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

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(503): I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink. http://tfl.nu/0fnk

Replies (114) Good night (3780) Bad night (610)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

at least i was looking out for everybody

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(403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz

Replies (8) Good night (4533) Bad night (599)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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(513): I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair" http://tfl.nu/ia2j

Replies (21) Good night (628) Bad night (6132)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I in a dog kennel?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

It was for your own safety

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(803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni

Replies (27) Good night (13062) Bad night (1457)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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(215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l

Replies (2) Good night (2301) Bad night (858)
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(347): View more from New York

full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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(347): full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb http://tfl.nu/b13u

Replies (1) Good night (1888) Bad night (609)
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(210): View more from Texas

I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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(210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m

Replies (1) Good night (1615) Bad night (455)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We left the knife in your bed.

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(780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc

Replies (9) Good night (496) Bad night (1077)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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(970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi

Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (327)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Sounds like a good New Years

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(204): I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this. (1-204): Sounds like a good New Years http://tfl.nu/ss2q

Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (484)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?

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(503): Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/3od1

Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (237)
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(713): View more from Texas

He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.

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(713): He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life. http://tfl.nu/tix1

Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (149)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.

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(330): You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me. http://tfl.nu/4yac

Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (241)

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