the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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