It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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