I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
