as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
