is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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