wakey wakey hands off snakey
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
