Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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