i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
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Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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