i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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