my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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