8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
