Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
