so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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