Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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