Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
