i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
