I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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