Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
