Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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