can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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