I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
