Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
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SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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