hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
