I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you never un-have a 4some
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
