i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
