this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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