On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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