Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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