We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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