He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
