And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
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Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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