Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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