I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
