If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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