theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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