For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
