I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize