He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Welp...herpes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
