Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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