I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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