It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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