So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
