end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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