so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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