I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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