Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
