please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He shit in the fireplace
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
